I remember events like a narrator, i don’t visualise them, i don’t see flashing pictures. The edge of my vision doesn’t go wavy or black and white like it does in the movies. I remember things as if i was told about them. And i was.. i told myself.

I don’t remember dates. I honestly have no idea what day of the year Christmas lies on. I know it’s December, i know it’s in the mid 20′s of the days. Either the 25th or the 26th i believe. After 24 years of life (Okay, the first three don’t count because i wasn’t really self aware, but give me a break) i still have to use logic to work out which day Christmas is.

I only know that much about Christmas because it’s hard to miss. I have no idea when Halloween is, or Easter, or even Pancake day.

When i was in school i couldn’t remember how long classes were, let alone which order mine were in. It was okay in the first few years when you could follow everyone else and be fine, but when everyone’s timetables were different.. I must’ve been the only 17 year old who had to write a cheatsheet to help discern which class he was in next!

What’s the bet that the Google Ads i end up getting on single page view for this end up being about memory improvement treatment or something.

It’s not just events and numbers either. I can’t remember names. Despite my love for Christopher Walken i usually have to refer to him as “uhhh… what’s his name.. looks like a lizard.. he was in Deerhunter! he’s got a superb portrait in that photographers book i have, what’s his name!?”.

“Events” are the big one though. It’s generally safe to say that i don’t remember last week, but sometimes i can’t even recall yesterday. I don’t remember a thing about my early childhood. I don’t remember much about being in school. I don’t really remember getting my degree. But i can still remember the THAC0 rules from Dungeons and Dragons.

For the most part i remember conversations very well. I’m often narcing on friends because they forget things i say. I guess it’s a big deal to me because it’s the one part of my memory that i can rely on. But i think there’s a lot more to it than that.

I remember sound extremely well. Thinking about a song i know will result in the music flowing through my mind like an Mp3. It’s not like listening to music though, it’s a mental operation. It’s like seeing the code and knowing what it means. Confusing, but basically i can just remember the way sound sounds. It’s not something enjoyable really, and it’s no replacement for actually listening to music in any way, but it does lead to a lot of skipping when i have my ipod on. I listen to the first 3 seconds of a song, and i’ve already considered the rest of the track. No surprises left, so i skip it.

Intro -> [skip] -> Intro -> [skip] -> Intro -> [skip] -> Intro -> [skip] -> ad infinitum.

These memory problems don’t really cause me too many problems in life. I don’t remember my past.. i’m sure that probably sounds sucky to you, but i’ve never known any different. It’s just the way life works from my perspective.

The only element that’s ever really caused me problems is remembering birthdays. I can’t do it. The closest i can get is the month, and that’s only for my dad (because i know it’s right after New Year, my most loathed time of year) and for one of my friends whose birthday is a few days before mine. Most of the time it doesn’t matter, i’ll either find out before hand from other people, or i’ll forget and deal with it. But some people (read: some girls) really hate it. I get the whole “you should know!”, why should i know!? What did i do to deserve these presuppositions, apart from being vaguely human?

Give me a break, seriously.